Dear Babylon nightclub.

Many live music venues, when putting on a concert, like people to show up. In order to facilitate this, they often advertise their shows, through posters, listings, and so on. You don't done this much, and I'm not sure why. Perhaps you've moved past the need for material things; if so, I'm very happy for you, as you're in an enviable position many of the world's religions promise yet so rarely deliver. However, this seems unlikely considering your drink prices. Or possibly you just don't like people much. This doesn't make a lot of sense either, as why would you have concerts at all? Maybe you're trying to be mysterious, and have lots of 'surprise', unannounced shows that get great word of mouth.

Again, and here's where we're really getting to the crux of the matter, this would make more sense if more people knew, through word-of-mouth, about your shows. If, for example, you provided accurate information on, say, your website. Because, y'see, after getting the date wrong on the Socalled show last month, it turns out now, that I've missed it by a day. And lo and behold, your website advertises the show, quite clearly, as being tonight, not last night.

Amusingly enough, the doorman pointed out that only about 30 people showed up last night, despite it being a pretty good show. This reminds me of another event, a few years back, when the now-very popular band Stars played their first Ottawa show. There was one, I stress one poster for the concert, which I only saw the day after the show, and there was a tiny, tiny listing in the Xpress, which is how me and my ex, and exactly 9 other people, found out about it. We actually called ahead, because it seemed so odd, and the guy who answered asked, "How did you find out about it?"

Ha!ha!, that's some funny stuff. And yet, even as I wipe away my tears of laughter, other tears, more rage-induced, follow, as I think of the times my various bands (well, mostly Kepler) have played to those few people we've told personally about the show, and finding out later that your listings said we were to play a week later.

These things shouldn't be secrets, Babylon nightclub; people want to see concerts, and bands want to make enough money to pay for gas and their drink tabs, and so on. I'd even assume that you'd rather have more than 11 people show up in an evening. If it's such a chore to put up posters (even just a few), update (and double-check) your website, or send listings to punkottawa.com, then perhaps it's time to reconsider the whole live-music aspect of your business.

with bitter affection,
MCrammit.